HOW TO PRAY FOR LOVED ONES TRAPPED IN SIN

One of the hardest and most frustrating things in life is seeing someone you love continue to stay stuck in sin. 

The sin can be anything from an addiction to any other destructive behavior that puts their life and even their salvation at risk. It becomes even more difficult when the person is one of your adult children or husband because automatically you become intertwined in the collateral damage (of their sin).

This is why it is imperative to understand exactly what the enemy is going to attempt to do in this situation so that you can be on guard and more strategically prepared.

First, keep in mind that the enemy has two specific goals:

1.     To steal, kill and destroy their life through their sin

2.     To steal, kill and destroy your life through their sin

To the devil, it is like a “two for the price of one” scenario.

Here is exactly how it works.

The enemy is counting on the fact that he can pervert the Godly love and concern we have for our loved ones by getting us to establish soul burdens by attaching our emotions to what they are going through.

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a burden is defined as follows:

·      Something that is carried  

·      Something that is emotionally difficult to bear

·      A source of great worry or stress; unbearable weight

Using all the italicized words in this definition, a soul burden is simply the self-imposed result of convincing yourself that you are supposed to carry, bear, worry and stress over the emotionally difficult and unbearable weight of the other person’s circumstances. Unfortunately, this will also make you feel responsible for the outcome.

I know exactly what this looks like, first hand, when I witnessed the ravaging effects of an eating disorder that almost destroyed my daughter’s life in the early years of her marriage. Like most mothers, I carried a lot of guilt for the dysfunctional environment Ashlee was raised in. The devil used my guilt as the weapon he needed to try to destroy me as well.

Remember I shared the two goals of the enemy?

There were many times, feeling completely hopeless, that I begged God out of fear and ignorance to allow me to carry and bear her infirmity so that she could go free.  

Little did I know that I was giving the devil a VIP invitation to take us both out. We must always keep in mind that life and death is in the power of our tongue. I had pridefully overlooked that Jesus bore her sickness and sin so that I wouldn’t have to bear it myself. This demonic thought process of emotionally carrying the weight of another person’s choices that ultimately result in sin shows exactly how dangerous soul burdens can be. 

Whenever we are fearful or anxious, it is virtually impossible to give God our burdens...so we don’t. By default, we are telling God that we would rather carry them ourselves. Unfortunately, this is nothing more than pride, rooted in fear and it will always operate by control.

It sounds like this: “I’ve got this, (pride) even though I’m not sure what to do (fear) but I’ll figure something out (control).

In my daughter’s situation it sounded more like this: “It’s my fault she’s struggling. (pride) I could never live with myself if something happened to her. (fear) I need to find a way to help her. (control)

Unfortunately, all of the above is S-I-N, masquerading as love and concern. And the absolute worst part about it was that when things didn’t go my way, I became frustrated, angry, hurt and even resentful frustrated towards Ashlee….all more sin!

This is the “2 for 1 deal” I mentioned earlier. Ashlee’s sin was causing me to sin.

It also began to put a strain on the relationship with my new son-in-law because I started to become the over-bearing, in your business mother-in-law, I promised myself I would never be.

Feeling desperate and worn out as I watched Ashlee’s situation deteriorate, I literally cried out to the Lord during a night watch prayer. And I was finally able to hear Him begin to challenge me to find the answers I needed in His Word. Yes, I had to search. It wasn’t automatic and it took time but it forced me to take my eyes off of the situation long enough to gain small glimpses of hope.

He spoke directly to me in Matt. 11:28-30

"Come to me, all you who are weary and (soul) burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

He reassured me that I could literally cast the entirety of the soul burden I created regarding Ashlee (to include all my cares, anxieties, worries and concerns) once and for all, on Him because He deeply and affectionately cared for Ashlee, especially in her sin.

The amplified version of this scripture, found in 1 Peter 5:7 says that God watchfully cares about us. This implies that God had His eyes lazar-focused on the entire situation the entire time.

The word, cast, in this verse is from the Greek translated word, casting which literally means: to throw upon.

Instead of emotionally bearing all the guilt I felt for part of her childhood, the pain it caused and the situation Ashlee was now in, the Lord was expecting me to throw upon Him everything! Including Ashlee’s willful sin and the unclean spirit devouring her 89-pound body because of it.

He also reminded me that I needed to repent for my pride, my fear and my controlling nature that had convinced me I was supposed to fix, heal and deliver Ashlee.

Over time, as I continued (key word: continued) to do exactly what God instructed through His Word, which was to cast daily (key words: cast daily) all of my cares upon Him, I finally had enough confidence to believe that Ashlee would be delivered and healed.

Yes, it took diligent prayer for many months. And yes, it was a daily fight for my daughter’s life but I felt strong and invincible because I wasn’t carrying the demonic soul burden regarding the outcome any longer. Instead, I had humbly delivered it on a silver platter to the Lord as an offering of mustard seed faith.

As I did this, I was able to become a spiritual asset regarding her situation instead of a liability that the enemy could use against her healing and our relationship. My prayers became more powerful and effective.

Today, I can share the incredible testimony that Ashlee is free! She is healthy and beautiful! Her marriage is thriving! And my husband and I could not be any closer to her and her incredible, God-fearing husband Zach than we are today.

When we hear the promise from God’s Word that says: “All things are possible to those that believe.” Part of the believing part is believing that in the depth of a dire situation, God will show up and do exactly what He promised He would do.